{"id":6,"date":"2024-01-12T19:23:46","date_gmt":"2024-01-12T19:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/?page_id=6"},"modified":"2024-07-16T07:41:08","modified_gmt":"2024-07-16T11:41:08","slug":"home","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/","title":{"rendered":"Home"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1    data-hover=\"Dale Rawlinson\">Dale Rawlinson  <\/h1>\n<h2    data-hover=\"A Year and a Day of Fires\">A Year and a Day of Fires  <\/h2>\n<p>My Mom always got a kick out of the fact that her birth date is a math equation, so I am supremely confident that she carefully chose the date she would leave this earth.<\/p>\n<p>The phone call came just before midnight on February 22nd, 2022. The doctor was very kind to call herself to speak with me. Mom\u2019s heart had given out twice that evening, and They needed to check with me about Mom\u2019s order not to resuscitate. Born on 3-3-39, passed on 2-22-2022\u2026 and I was not as prepared as I thought I would be.<\/p>\n<style>\/*! elementor - v3.23.0 - 15-07-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/384d346d-90b4-461b-9508-c184e0a2ec7e-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Dale laying a fire on the beach\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/384d346d-90b4-461b-9508-c184e0a2ec7e-768x1023.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/384d346d-90b4-461b-9508-c184e0a2ec7e-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/384d346d-90b4-461b-9508-c184e0a2ec7e-1153x1536.jpg 1153w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/384d346d-90b4-461b-9508-c184e0a2ec7e.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>The next morning, in shock, stunned, I fumbled a bit, and built a fire to sit, think, cry, and gather myself. I was overwhelmed, feeling\u00a0lost and frightened; the fire was comforting, and seemed appropriate\u00a0as a vigil. The same felt true the next day, and as my son also came to help tend, we held the fire for a week. That week I felt such connection mourning both my parents, and such longing for comfort, a time-out, and peace, that I built another fire, and another. This became a very helpful daily practice. During the next month, I would be introduced to an ancient story called \u201cThe Lindworm,\u201d as retold by Martin Shaw, which inspired a longing to celebrate and mourn for \u201ca year and a day.\u201d So I decided to continue this practice for a full cycle around the sun. To be in this contemplation under every moon, in every season, plus one day.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t<video id=\"row_video_bg_66965c543b465\"  data-autoplay autoplay preload=\"auto\" width=\"100%\" height=\"100%\"  autoplay=\"true\" playsinline poster=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/plugins\/theplus_elementor_addon\/\/assets\/images\/placeholder-grid.jpg\" loop=\"true\"  muted=\"true\"  data-setup=\"{}\"  data-dk-mp4=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/black_and_white_fire_slow_motion.mp4\" data-dk-webm=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_2741.webm\"><\/video><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0076-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>The first fires were simple. The process of splitting the wood was where my prayerful time started. I would think of celebrating my mother\u2019s life, of things heavy in my heart, of joys in my life, of appreciation for people who are still here. Peace, grief, love, play, anger, confusion, tranquility, sadness, delight&#8230; I think there was every emotion that flowed into the prayers. I would pour all of those feelings into the wood, which would then become the fire. The feelings then transformed and were released with\/in\/by the flames.<\/p>\n<p>To begin with, I was mostly focused on the releasing that was happening in the fire. Over the course of the year, I began paying much more attention and intention to the laying of the wood, along the lines of mandala. As Jenny Katz wrote in her beautiful song \u201cEvery Face in Firelight,\u201d I believe it was the gentleness that made it art&#8230; and it was the art that made it meditation, and it was the meditation that made it prayer.<\/p>\n<style>\/*! elementor-pro - v3.23.0 - 15-07-2024 *\/\n.elementor-gallery__container{min-height:1px}.elementor-gallery-item{position:relative;overflow:hidden;display:block;text-decoration:none;border:solid var(--image-border-width) 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data-e-action-hash=\"#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dlightbox%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6MTQ3LCJ1cmwiOiJodHRwOlwvXC95YXlmb3JldmVyeXRoaW5nLmNvbVwvZGFsZXJhd2xpbnNvblwvd3AtY29udGVudFwvdXBsb2Fkc1wvMjAyNFwvMDFcL2RhbGVfZmlyZTMuanBnIiwic2xpZGVzaG93IjoiNjYwYmZiMCJ9\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/firelight-scaled1.jpg\" data-elementor-open-lightbox=\"yes\" data-elementor-lightbox-slideshow=\"660bfb0\" data-elementor-lightbox-title=\"firelight-scaled(1)\" data-e-action-hash=\"#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dlightbox%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6MTUyLCJ1cmwiOiJodHRwOlwvXC95YXlmb3JldmVyeXRoaW5nLmNvbVwvZGFsZXJhd2xpbnNvblwvd3AtY29udGVudFwvdXBsb2Fkc1wvMjAyNFwvMDFcL2ZpcmVsaWdodC1zY2FsZWQxLmpwZyIsInNsaWRlc2hvdyI6IjY2MGJmYjAifQ%3D%3D\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_9995-scaled.jpg\" data-elementor-open-lightbox=\"yes\" data-elementor-lightbox-slideshow=\"660bfb0\" data-elementor-lightbox-title=\"IMG_9995\" data-e-action-hash=\"#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dlightbox%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6NDgsInVybCI6Imh0dHA6XC9cL3lheWZvcmV2ZXJ5dGhpbmcuY29tXC9kYWxlcmF3bGluc29uXC93cC1jb250ZW50XC91cGxvYWRzXC8yMDI0XC8wMVwvSU1HXzk5OTUtc2NhbGVkLmpwZyIsInNsaWRlc2hvdyI6IjY2MGJmYjAifQ%3D%3D\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n<p>One day my wife Ellie came out to the fire and said, \u201cThat\u2019s really beautiful; I hope you\u2019re taking pictures.\u201d That\u2019s where the sharing practice started. I would share pictures with Ellie and the kids, and then with my brothers and sister, and then my heart began aching in a very young way: I need to share this, I need to feel connected. Yet I teetered back and forth between that part and a part that was very frightened to share something so intimate. Would people understand, would they get it? Was it even appropriate, what I was doing? Where was the church service? Slowly I began reaching out to my other dear loved ones, people currently walking my path with me or who had been super-connected to my earlier life and knew my mom. And as I stepped through the fear of rejection or ridicule or misunderstanding, what came back to me, every time, was love. Each person that I shared the fires with was just beautiful about it. Even if their response was, \u201cWhat is this? I don\u2019t understand it,\u201d it opened a conversation. Over and over again, there was just love and beauty and encouragement. <\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"766\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire-1024x981.jpg\" alt=\"process of building a fire\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire-1024x981.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire-300x287.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire-768x736.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire-1536x1471.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/building_a_fire.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><br \/>\n\t\t\t<video id=\"row_video_bg_66965c543e35a\"  data-autoplay autoplay preload=\"auto\" width=\"100%\" height=\"100%\"  autoplay=\"true\" playsinline poster=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/plugins\/theplus_elementor_addon\/\/assets\/images\/placeholder-grid.jpg\" loop=\"true\"  muted=\"true\"  data-setup=\"{}\"  data-dk-mp4=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/IMG_0675.mp4\"><\/video>\t\t<\/p>\n<p>And so there came a tipping point there where my next level of agreement with myself became: As I build the fire, if people come into my mind, my heart, my prayers, if I have a way to reach out to them then I\u2019m going to.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/dale-iPhone-X-Mockup-qi953qyjujtj8x7btumbuf3g25e7wfiglclithq5pu.png\" title=\"dale-iPhone-X-Mockup\" alt=\"dale-iPhone-X-Mockup\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>And that became texting, emailing, Facebook messager-ing. I didn\u2019t want to broadcast it out impersonally; I didn\u2019t post the fires on Facebook or Instagram. It was about connecting and reconnecting with people I love. And somewhere in there, that longing to share and reconnect overwhelmed my sadness. And it was powerful to realize that, while the ache in my chest was I miss my mother, I miss my father, I had a chance to connect with others who were still here. It was clear to me that I\u2019d better act on that.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1100\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-300x129.jpg 300w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-1024x440.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-768x330.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-1536x660.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/goat_fire-2048x880.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>I try to remind myself of what Bren\u00e9 Brown says: Don\u2019t puff up, don\u2019t shrink, stay on your sacred ground. It feels strange to share in a more public fashion. I\u2019m preparing myself to get shit from people \u2014 \u201cOh, you were mourning your mom and now you\u2019re exhibiting it.\u201d I\u2019m trying to balance that with the other voice I hear from friends and loved ones, that there\u2019s beauty and value in the sharing. In my tradition, growing up, we didn\u2019t talk about death very much. But whether it was someone who had already lost their parents or someone whose parents were still alive, people shared that they appreciated witnessing my walk, they appreciated the intimacy and the vulnerability. And that ignited me to keep sharing, and to spread it.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"765\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-765x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-765x1024.jpg 765w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-224x300.jpg 224w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-768x1028.jpg 768w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-1148x1536.jpg 1148w, https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/dark_beauty_fire-scaled.jpg 1913w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 765px) 100vw, 765px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>So much of art that moves us as human beings came from somebody else\u2019s journey in the dark, from what brought them to their knees and how they got up. That\u2019s what I hope comes through.<\/p>\n<h3>Dale\u2019s fires were an integral part of the <a style=\"color: #FFAD2B;\" href=\"http:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/helices\">HELICES<\/a> exhibit at A.P.E. Gallery in Northampton, MA in July 2024.<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dale Rawlinson A Year and a Day of Fires My Mom always got a kick out of the fact that her birth date is a math equation, so I am supremely confident that she carefully chose the date she would leave this earth. The phone call came just before midnight on February 22nd, 2022. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"elementor_canvas","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":227,"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6\/revisions\/227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yayforeverything.com\/dalerawlinson\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}